At Random

In case anyone in my handful of followers was confused or offended by one of my tweet-rants earlier, I thought I’d clarify my thoughts of the day.

I don’t hate vegans. I don’t hate meat-lovers. I don’t hate lactose intolerants, veggie-haters or any other person with a preference for or against a particular food. (If you are vegan, though, parts of this blog may offend. I promise it’s not intended that way.)

There are really only two things I HATE in this world: hypocrisy and self-righteousness. Ironically, the two sometimes (usually) go hand in hand.

**Rest assured that if you are reading this blog, you are NOT one of the people I consider a self-righteous hypocrite.**

The comment that really set me off this morning was posted on Facebook by a vegan (again, nothing against vegans; I would gladly consider going vegan if it didn’t make me physically miserable), who said, and I may be paraphrasing here, ”Cows milk…is the worst thing a human being could possibly drink. You wouldn’t drink milk from an ape, would you?” This was in response to an attempted vegan who complained they didn’t like any of the non-dairy “milk” choices.

I’ll be frank: I think a comment like the one above is utterly ignorant and self-serving. People will go to any length to prove that their decisions, their lifestyles, are superior, and I see this happen a lot with vegans in particular. I’m not saying they’re ignorant - on the contrary, most vegans are well educated and knowledgeable about exactly why they chose this lifestyle. Because that’s what it is, really. A complete lifestyle.

But when someone makes a comment like “cows milk is the worst thing a human being could possibly drink”, it raises my hackles. Sure, there is an argument that could be made for this person’s opinion, but in order to really believe a statement like that, you have to focus on the negative and completely ignore the health benefits of cows milk. And yes, there are benefits. We could all agree that drinking antifreeze would be worse for a human than cows milk, correct?

I could make an argument about how many vegans (the ones who don’t do proper research before embarking on their journey) are malnourished and lacking in vital nutrients, but would anyone on the opposite side listen? No. Because there is a point when, in order to protect their pride, people have to close their ears. If only the obnoxious ones could manage to close their mouths at the same time…

Personally - and this is only from my studies in Nutrition and experience with my own dabbles in diet changes - I believe the best balance for the human body lies somewhere between veganism and a red-meat-and-refined-pasta diet. But that is neither here nor there, because this issue isn’t really about veganism.

I see the same absurdity in conversations about breastfeeding versus formula feeding. The women I like to call Breastfeeding Nazis will condemn any woman who formula feeds, and they will not listen to a rebuttal. To them, there is no “other side”, no acceptable situation whatsoever in which a woman should formula feed. Double mastectomy, perhaps? No. Of course not. In that case, the woman should find a lactating woman to purchase breast milk from. One of my personal favorite quotes from a Breastfeeding Nazi, Gisele Bundchen: “breastfeeding should be a worldwide law”. Uh-huh.

I’m sorry, but I don’t believe there is one answer for everyone. There’s no panacea for every illness in the world, no “perfect solution” that fits every situation when it comes to diet, childrearing, etc. The people who irk me are the ones who pretend that their answer is the only one, as if God Himself somehow whispered the answer in their ear, leaving everyone else an ignorant fool. Vegans tend to come under fire with me a lot because they are some of the guiltiest when it comes to self-righteousness and superiority. (Maybe I just know all the wrong vegans. It’s entirely possible, and I’m not saying I’ve never met any nice ones, because I have.)

There are also those who are just plain hypocritical. I see this all the time: the people who shame someone for drinking a Pepsi, then turn around and guzzle gallons of sweet tea. Is real sugar better for you than high fructose corn syrup? Almost assuredly. But sugar, be it real or fake, is sugar, and no one should be consuming it in liquid form with every meal. 

I’ve seen myriad other hypocrises like this, over and over again. Like the person who condemns others for drinking alcohol, but eats out at full-service chain restaurants multiple times a week. Said person may not be consuming alcohol, but they’re sure as heck not doing their waistline (or their organs) any favors. Yet so many of these people are infuriatingly self-righteous and SO DAMN PROUD OF THEMSELVES for being better than everyone else! It must take a hell of a pair of Ignorant Ear Plugs to be that dumb.

It’s safe to say that I’m of the “everything in moderation” school of belief. I’d like people to open their eyes to ALL the facts before they start spouting off.

There’s also a second side to my point of view, and that’s the psychological. I fully, 110% believe that emotional health is as imperative to the body’s health as diet and exercise. To be constantly worried about what we’re consuming, stressing about reading labels, spending more money than we can afford on the “right” groceries, feeling guilt, comparing ourselves to others, condemning others, tearing down the standards of the USDA and FDA to prove they’re not good enough - it’s not healthy. None of it’s healthy.

Whatever your lifestyle choice is (diet and everything else), it’s yours to make. Never forget that. And if you see someone else making a choice you don’t approve of, it doesn’t somehow make you superior to them. Not in the slightest.

If it matters, my children were both breastfed - briefly. I hated it. With every fiber of my being, I loathed it. I was not one of those mothers who found it to be some transcendent mother-child bonding experience. It hurt, it felt “wrong” - all of the phrases I could use to make myself sound like a terrible nurturer - that was how it felt to me. I almost ruined the first month with my first child by forcing myself into breastfeeding. I cried during every feeding; I often couldn’t go back to sleep because I dreaded the moment I’d have to wake up and start the process all over again. It was my own mother who finally opened my eyes to the fact that Mommy’s happiness is equally important to Baby’s health. And what do you know? When I switched to bottle feeding, not only did I feel a thousand times better, but my baby was noticeably happier, we both slept better, and the dynamic in the entire household changed. If the Breastfeeding Nazis were right, by now my formula-fed children would have had stunted growth, chronic ear infections, asthma, and lower intelligence. Guess what? None of the above.

There are people who have told me that I must “not care” about my children if I feed them formula. It’s much the same thing that I’ve been told about myself since I drink alcohol on occasion, eat red meat more than once a week, and (heaven forbid) skip a workout sometimes.

What I’ve come to realize is that there’s more than physical health at stake here. A person’s ego is infinitely more fragile than their body, and it’s the first thing we tend to defend when threatened. So if it sounds like I get defensive or too upset by other folks’ comments about diet and lifestyle, it’s because I do. I’m not an egotistical person; if anything, I’m an idealist. I’d just like to see people break outside of their head sometimes and recognize the world around them for what it is - a world full of people who are utterly, completely, and wonderfully different, and for whom one solution is never the only answer.